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Marriage and Premarital Educators
  Find Out What Other Marriage and Premarital Counselors and Educators Are Saying...

Money issues are consistently ranked as a key problem area for couples, yet frequently they're not adequately discussed in couples' courses or private counseling sessions.  Typically, money is a topic clients want to avoid because they don't intuitively feel or see the connection between habits and attitudes about money and the

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ir relationships. The reality is that money issues are rarely every about finances but are related to what money represents to each person in the couple - security, freedom, control, power, independence, etc.

Money Habitudes cards provide an easy, non-judgmental and non-threatening way to address financial issues with your clients - and beyond that, to explore your own views of money and how they may affect your conversations with your clients.

Your clients will associate the cards with the familiar, enjoyable social entertainment of playing cards, which allows them to  engage more readily.  People like manipulating the cards so they relax, let their guard down and are more open to having productive conversations. The cards also provide non-judgmental language which makes it easier to discuss difficult topics.

Money Habitudes Solitaire is the most frequently used activity. The deck of cards includes 54 statement cards that are associated with one of the six Money Habitudes: Security, Status, Selfless, Free Spirit, Targeted Goals and Spontaneous. The client (or you) completes a simple sorting process, placing cards into piles identifying behaviors as "like me," "not like me" or "sometimes like me" (a process that takes about 15 minutes). At a glance, you and your client will get a sense of the Money Habitudes that are dominant. By using the interpretation cards, you will gain valuable clues about thoughts, feelings and patterns of behavior. The cards also include suggestions for next steps based on each habitude.

Pre-marital and couples counselors have reported that they quickly get to the heart of their clients' true issues using the Money Habitudes cards. The non-judgmental language of the cards and the specific statements stimulate rich conversations. Marriage counselors and educators using the most well-known marriage education programs can improve their effectiveness by including a discussion of money. Dr. William Bailey's paper "How to Use the Money Habitudes™ Cards in Marriage Education Programs" discusses how to incorporate using the cards with:
     
PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) by Markham, Stanley, and Blumberg
 
Couples Communication I and II by Miller and Miller
 
PREPARE/ENRICH 2000 by Olson and others)
 
GREAT START by Olson, Miller, and Miller

 
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    What Other Marriage and Premarital Counselors and Educators Are Saying About Money Habitudes...
     
To help new clients overcome the long-standing gag rule on talking about money, life coach Syble Solomon has developed Money Habitudes, a set of playing cards that make it quick and easy to uncover the underlying or even unconscious attitudes that shape our financial lives. - Diane Sollee, Executive Director, Smart Marriages

 
Using the cards created a safe space for exploration and exposure of the emotional connection couples have with their own handling of financial matters and how money was handled in their family of origin.  - Catherine Riley Wineburg, LCSW, MFT, Licensed Imago Therapist

 
My husband and I talked for hours after using the money habitudes cards while we diligently worked on the budget, taking into account all the things we learned about each other from the cards. I can honestly say we made more ground—on this very difficult issue—than we have ever made in our 24 years of marriage! - Renee Colclough Hinson, ACME (Association for Couples in Marriage Enrichment)

 
One shortcoming of premarital and marriage enrichment programs is the lack of educational session devoted to specific topics…such as money. Money is one of the most conflict creating issues experienced by couples over the life course of their relationships. The Money Habitudes™ cards are a vital, dynamic tool that can supplement ms and others. These cards give a marriage educator a process by which to examine money values, beliefs, and behaviors. When using the cards, the couple is engaged in a familiar, non-threatening activity. The cards use a non-judgmental language that encourages the couple to discus the most taboo topics in our culture. It allows the facilitator of a marriage education program to quickly get to the heart of the issue of money. I encourage you to use the Money Habitudes™ cards to supplement the marriage education program of your choice. I know that the couples in your program will benefit from this experience.  - William Bailey, Ph.D., Family Sciences, University of Arkansas, Co-author of You Paid How Much for That!? (with Jenkins, Stanley, and Markman, 2002)